Dromophobia: the fear of crossing streets

Every day I have to be very aware when I cross the street, because if I do not make a point of paying attention I will just stand their to get hit my a car. To end my life.

I feel crazy every second of every day. I am suicidal and incredibly depressed. I had things under control for awhile but I lost it all again. I feel like I am going to explode everyday, and everyday that I don't explode I feel like I should kill myself.

This is an honest blog about what goes on in my head. I am tired of lying to everyone and telling them "I'm fine!" with a smile plastered on my face. So this is my place to be me. I don't encourage self-harm or suicide, and I think that if you feel depressed or just lost that you should get help. However, I cannot tell you what to do. I do not believe that suicide is selfish. I understand the need for an out, a final end to all the pain. But don't let it be a rash decision. I would have killed myself many times had I just done it on impulse. Everything is shit, and i'm exhausted from trying, but I have to believe just a little bit that maybe, just maybe, I won't feel this way forever.

11th July 2011

Post with 8 notes

Nice to see you again, i missed you

this feeling, all too familiar. Just an overwhelming sense. That is it, it is nothing specific. Just overwhelming. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to anyone else. But it is what happens to me all the time. I just feel overwhelmed for no particular reason or maybe their is a reason but it is too small to pinpoint. This overwhelming sense just takes over and makes me feel worthless, pointless, useless, just like shit. I just want to lie in my bed, not even sleep, just lie there and drown myself in this feeling.

Welcome back.

Tagged: overwhelmingwelcome back to my life

  1. dromophobia posted this